WARNING: this blog post is NOT satire. I HATE EVERYONE. I HATE ALL OF YOU. I AM NOT JOKING. I HATE EVERYTHING. ABOUT. YOU. ooiuouoih i love inflation furrys

i am not doxxing myself because i live in new zealand and i flew to dayton just to listen to their underground bands thx

though if you also want to fly to dayton theres a lot of good underground bands to listen to if you like midwestern emo or hardcore

Stuff for new people

btw its a good idea to wear ear protection because there are lots of people who will find virgin ears and touch them with their loud treble guitars and drumsets it happened to me once 😢

theres this instagram account called@dayton_music_calendar that posts about most shows in dayton but im not gonna lie they stopped posting as of recent so then i guess just follow a bunch of dayton bands youll find them eventually

Fun shows i saw

ive been to a couple of shows (im not much of a veteran myself) but they can be both very fun, kind of scary, and very saddening.

for starters i went to this one show in the yellow cab tavern. the fun part was hearing stump and limelight. the scary part was one of stump's mom was there. the sad part was that i had to leave early cause im too much of a bitch to get my lisence.

i also went to this one show in the troll pub. nevermore played a title fight song. that was a very fun part. the scary part was seeing david's hair cut. the sad part was also seeing david's hair cut. but that was also a happy part

also one time i went to stump house. the fun part was hearing stump play. the scary part was talking to people. the sad part was that jenn lyles didnt play for longer. i was inspired to write this blog post beacuse of this. I want to say i was a personal guinea pig playing tetris for a crowd. it was very sad. If you ever see stump. Run away as fast as possible. They are all evil.

Bonus step by step tutorial on how to fit in dayton

when you visit in dayton you might feel out of place but dont worry. this tutorial will make you feel like a natural in no time. all the ladys (or guys or theydys) will swoon for you in no time.

STEP 1: eradicate anyone who claims they like title fight

if you ever see an innocent soul that says theyre favorite band is title fight, you must immediately unhinge your jaw and vore them on the spot. Make sure to remember the number 3,007,206 because it is the monthly listeners of title fight and Therefore it is not Niche and therefore if you listen to it you are a wagie scum poser and need to be eradicated like the rat you are. this might seem harsh but if you dont do it then youre not enjoying the prime dayton experience

(if you need to borrow a niche band you can borrow Robin Callaway but you cant have him forever bakasama)

2 STEP: Learn how to 2step

haha. im so funny

by the way 2stepping originated from india. if you see people 2step during a show, its because they are indian.

STEP 3: MOSH

sometimes when the song is good people might start to mosh. there is a dynamic to moshing that YOU MUST understand UNLESS you want really really bad things to happen and you want to be PUNISHED like the bad little boy YOU ARE you are SUCH a bad little boy

a mosh starts when someone called "the alpha" finds a "beta pray" and then pushes the pray in hopes to find mates by humiliating them. more people will join in attempting to find their pray and the mosh pit will grow.

if someone pushes you, you are the pray, and you must submiss to your alpha. in this stage, its a good idea to unravel your thigh highs (i forgot to mention you need those) and let the alpha put a leesh over you like a puppy. Bcuz ur the pray duh. if they Do not have a leesh, then they have spared you from their sexual fury. if this happens you should graciously thank the Alpha for sparing you.

you may see people on the edge of the mosh pit. these guys are called the "cucks" because they find pleasure in seeing other people mosh but not themselves. it is perfectly fine to be a cuck. everyone was a cuck once in their lives. sometimes if they get too deviant, they may nudge anyone in the mosh back in, to get a little touch of what action they could be having.

WHATEVER YOU DO. IF YOU ARE IN THE MOSH. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ASSUME A CUCK AS PRAY. ITS NOT VERY PLEASENT FOR THE CUCK. THEY LIKE SEEING THE ACTION NOT BEING IN IT. IF YOU DO THIS, IT IS DOMESTIC ABUSE, AND YOU WILL BE ARRESTED ON THE SPOT. THE PENALTY FOR THIS IS IMMEDIATE VASCECTOMY.

In conclusion, a mosh is one big polyamorous relationship. If you are in a mosh, it is a beautiful thing, and you can tell your parents about your relationship. It is ancient moshing rule from India for it to be polyamorous. Someone else's pray can be your pray. We love to share in Dayton.

if you likes this blog, please read my other ones and maybe check out my social medias. And give me money too I want to buy a new car. my extremely illegal monero business isnt doing so well so send me money please thx: 84k4tR152Xa8T4rwe1ScyUKQUwi2sUtMZ18MvwSeg78Z2huZMTTAi4kV3osQ3HvgqhD9sQv88ZLyTRfnzovg2m9JAG38qHg

- uiGalaxy

ps This is my worst blog post ive ever made ever. please dont read it. i am ashamed of this a lot. i dont even go to concerts that much im pretending to be something